A few of these kids above from back then are now young football players playing pro or part time in Scotland today, all 21 years old+, can you spot them? 😀 So season 2016/2017 I will be off all medication and in a reasonable enough state to do 8 hours voluntary work with kids football or adults football. This will be basically 10 months from now I am hoping. I did 15 years of football and had to stop due to this disease I had called Chronic Pain Syndrome then I got told I had Fibromyalgia now I also have M.E. Now many will think “Aww what a shame” I am not, I know what I have, I am smiling now, and pain is kicking me to death 😀 But I know what I have now, there is a name for it
So football and me. What do I miss? I miss being in that dressing room with the players seconds before going out to the park to play, I miss telling players how to play, where to be on the park, telling them attitude is everything and teaching them #Team because everything I learnt and did in football in these 15 years took #Team. You can’t do it alone, you can’t run a team on your own, but you can lead from the front and choose wisely whom you have at your side, this is something I know now I failed at. I had one guy, good mate, at my side and he let himself down always and then me, but WE still won trophies, but more important created moments forever. One lad in particular helped me, he has his hand on my shoulder in the picture below. He is my Football Dad, he is an ex graded football referee, his input for me to beat teams was 10/10 and his ability to calm me down and not get into trouble was NEEDED 😀 I can get a bit animated yeah? 😀 He taught me to behave, I only had 3 Hampden appearances in-front of the SFA, twice with players, once with another coach, so he did a good job molding me into a Football manager. Where ever I go, he goes with me, Kevin if you read this, know how determined I am to bring this moment back!
I look behind me at a trophy cabinet from what I won and smile. The memories are just WOW. I remember almost every game, feelings, winning and the downer of losing. I remember working with kids from ages 8 to 19 and trying to and succeeding often to get them to understand they represent #Team, I miss this badly. I say always I am above nobody, I am below nobody. Then illness came and took it all. I made enemies, well people made an enemy in me because I deserved it 😀 These days I would shake their hands and mean it. There is a saying here in Scotland “What happens on the park stays on the park” and sadly it didn’t a few times, but that is a part you learn
Now I sit on a Saturday night watching football on TV and watching the team I support, often I will park my car at the side of a park and watch a game involving kids and or adults, always at the back of my mind thinking ‘Feck I miss this’ Football is full of idiots and I guess I became one, but for me it’s not what you did, it’s what you are going to do next. I am 42 years old with 15 years and 19 trophies but more important ‘Experience behind me, it’s wasting away and I am pining to be back there.
8 to 10 hours a week will be a test for me, I will have to sit down 😀 Pride gone for me, but I need to do this to prove Disabled people can still FUNCTION, Disabled people can still DO, Disabled people can still BE, Disabled people can still LIVE. So if there is anyone out there in the South East Region of Edinburgh, even West Lothian or even Fife looking for a football manager to take whatever age group, my Contacts <Click) are on this page. Personal awards I received, club awards came also but every time I got a personal award I had a player or coach from one of the other teams in the Club I started, owned and run, ran with help. Sadly often we make bad choices in who we trust in life and people who have never done football or been involved in football before think they know what’s best against someone who has been doing it 13 years, well, at the time. I don’t hate anyone, let me down? No! They let a LOT of kids down. When I look back to the final days of Gorgie Hearts AFC I smile knowing it was amazing but then I think of all the kids who I would have been managing now and think about the people who stopped that process, leading me to give up Gorgie Hearts and go back to kids football, but with memories and friends for life. As I say, it’s not what you have done, it’s what you are going to do next. I am hungry for football, I am hungry to succeed, I am hungry to win, I am able to lose. I am not the same man I was back when I did football before, this illness knocked sense into me 😀 Really it did. I look back to petty people and maybe I was one? does it matter? Again! ‘What are you going to do next’ – So…Looking for the hardest working, free £ manager you will meet? Then call someone else, I can’t promise you anything more than, well below says it all
I am hungry for it. Give me 10 months and I promise I will give you all I have.
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